How to Prepare for Anal Sex (And What to Do Afterwards)

Posted by Dave Lee on

Enjoying anal sex is only possible if you’re totally prepared for the act and this includes both physical and emotional preparation. If you’ve never before tried anal sex, this preparation is even more important because this type of sex can be quite painful and awkward without it.

The good news is that once you learn a few basic tips and suggestions, preparing for anal sex can be very simple and this preparation brings you one step closer to some mind-blowing sexual activity that is enjoyed by all types of couples.

Why Should You Prepare for Anal Sex?

Preparation for anal sex is not just recommended; it is an absolute must.

The anal sphincter is a very tight opening and it needs to be loosened up quite a bit before it’s stretched out enough for anal sex. Contrary to what many people believe, there are actually two anal sphincters -- an internal one and an external one -- and they both need to be loosened up before you can perform anal sex.

The anus is also a relatively small body part so it needs a lot of stretching in order to accommodate any sexual activity.

Because you’ll be inserting sex toys and a penis into the anus in order to have sex, the sphincter must be stretched out, which you can do a variety of ways. The most common way is to use a butt plug and since these devices get bigger on one end, the more you use it, the more stretched out the anal muscles will be.

You can do this a little at a time until you feel the muscles loosen and stretch but the important thing to remember is to make sure that the muscles are loose before attempting any type of anal sex play.

One of the reasons why stretching out the anal muscles is so important is because without it, you can get tiny tears in the anal muscles and even suffer bleeding.

Even when using a lot of lube, which is also a must with anal sex, you have to get the anal muscles loosened up slowly over time. You can cause a lot of damage to the anal area if you don’t.

How to Prepare for Anal Sex

Preparing for anal sex is a twofold process because you have to be prepared for this type of activity both physically and emotionally. Many people, especially women, are repulsed by the thought of having anal sex; if you feel that way, it is best not to give it a try.

Much as with vaginal sex, you have to be aroused in order to have a good time and you can’t accomplish this if it is something that you just don’t want to do.

If you want to try anal sex but you’re a little nervous, do not worry. You can get there faster than you think with just a little preparation. The physical preparation centers around preparing the anal muscles a little at a time.

It’s best to start by manipulating the anus with your fingers and when you’re comfortable with that, try something a little bigger but smaller than a dildo. For example, you could try a butt plug.

Butt plugs are great for stretching out the anal muscles because they are the perfect size -- not too large and not too small.

After you’re comfortable using the butt plug, your muscles are likely ready for something a little larger, in which case you can move up to a dildo or some other sex toy.

The last thing that you should insert into the anus is a penis. Don’t let this be the first thing that you insert into the anus if you want to try anal sex. It should instead be the very last part of the process.

Another area that is important is the use of lubricants. In fact, even if you’re used to anal sex, using a lot of lube is crucial. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating so the use of a lubricant is imperative.

You can use water-based or silicone-based lube because each of these has its own advantages. If you’re using a sex toy, simply use the type of lube recommended on the packaging.

Being psychologically and physically prepared for anal sex takes a little work but it is all worth it in the end.

Making sure that the muscles are stretched out, that you’re using plenty of lube, and that you really want to be involved in this type of sexual activity are all important because this is the only way to truly enjoy your anal sexual activity.

The Anal Diet: Foods You Should Eat

Much as with other physical activity, getting ready for anal sex is much easier if you follow a certain diet. After all, you have to be healthy “down there” in order for it to work right and since that area of the body is also associated with digestive health, it is good to stick with foods that are healthy and good for you.

Eating enough fiber is perhaps the smartest thing that you can do because both your digestive health and your sex life will improve greatly with enough fiber in your diet.

Much the same as foods that are good for you, there are also foods that you should avoid to maintain excellent digestive health.

These foods include red meat and pepper as well as anything else that might make you constipated. Being regular means that your colon and anus will remain clean, which goes a long way in helping you better enjoy anal sex.

Finally, drinking a lot of water is very useful because this helps the bowels work correctly and keeps you healthy enough for sexual activity in that part of your body. Although you won’t have a bowel movement while having anal sex, you may feel as if that is going to happen.

The healthier you are, the more quickly that feeling will disappear as the sex act progresses. Anal sex can make you get a feeling of fullness in the anus and that feeling is made much worse if you’re suffering with poor digestive health.

Fiber and lots of water are the keys to great digestive health. Keep in mind that the main function of that part of your body is the elimination of feces and the cleaner you are in that area, the more pleasurable anal sex will be.

Before Anal Sex

In addition to staying regular and making sure that the anal muscles are loosened up enough, there are things that you should do immediately before participating in anal sex. These include:

  • Roughly 30 to 60 minutes before having sex, visit the bathroom and empty your bowels.
  • Clean the anal area with mild soap and water.
  • If you don’t feel clean enough, you can use an alcohol-free baby wipe to further clean the area.
  • If you’d like to use an anal douche or an enema, do this one to two hours before having sex.

Many people are concerned about having a bowel movement or getting feces all over their partners when having anal sex but this doesn’t have to be a concern.

Feces only reaches the rectal area when you’re having a bowel movement so as long as you’ve done that before the anal sex act, this is not something that you have to worry about.

To keep things neater, however, it is recommended that you always use a condom. Although you can’t get pregnant through anal sex, STIs and even UTIs can happen if you do not use protection while having anal sex. Condoms also help the act become less messy overall so using a condom is recommended even if you’re in a monogamous relationship and aren’t concerned about STIs.

Cleaning Your Butt Before Anal Sex

Once again, making sure that your anal area is clean is crucial before having anal sex. If you decide to use an enema, this is perhaps the best way to make sure that the area is completely cleaned out before you have anal sex.

A standard bulb enema is the cheapest and easiest way to do this. You simply fill it up with warm water -- make sure that the water is never hot or cold -- insert it into the rectum, and squeeze. Do this until the water starts to run clear.

If using an enema, never add soap to the water or even vinegar. You should also stick with the smaller bulb-like enemas because the larger enema bags are not necessary for the anal area and may even cause you some discomfort.

If you are giving yourself the enema and become uncomfortable or start to cramp, you should stop the enema immediately.

In addition, if you do feel the need for a colonic enema, it is recommended that you visit a professional and never try to do it yourself. This is a procedure that only well-trained experts can provide to you so they are the only ones who should be trusted with the procedure.

Of course, a professional colonic enema is not usually needed just to prepare for anal sex because you should be fine with just a good cleaning or a regular enema.

Warming Up: Explore Your Butt

Even if you’ve had anal sex in the past, you need to warm up the buttocks area in order to prepare for the act. Some anal massaging is a perfect exercise to start with because you can use your fingers to do this.

If it makes you feel better, you can use latex or other types of gloves so that your finger isn’t inserted into the anus on its own. Starting with a little “finger massage” is a great way to prepare for anal sex.

Another great benefit of finger massages is that they allow you to explore your anal area and feel more comfortable about the upcoming sex session. It’ll help you relax to finger yourself or even allow your trusted partner to do it for you and it helps you relax both physically and emotionally.

If you’re a little more used to the act of anal sex, you can use a sex toy or butt plug in addition to the massage but the important thing is to “warm up” the anal area before participating in the sex act itself.

Another important tip when preparing for anal sex is to go slowly even if you’ve done it before. Rushing into anal sex is never a smart thing to do and going slowly allows you to be much more prepared for what you’re about to do, making the act much more pleasurable for both of you.

Stretching Out: Try a Toy First

Stretching the anal muscles out should be done each time that you have anal sex because this is the best way to make sure that it is comfortable for you.

Sex toys are great for penetrating the anus because they come in various shapes and sizes so you can choose the one that is right for you, depending on how loose the anal muscles already are.

Dildos and various vibrators are great for anal sex because you can choose the one that doesn’t intimidate you and that you feel will help stretch out those anal muscles the best.

You can also use the egg-shaped devices that you hold in your hand and vibrate at different speeds. Regardless of which sex toy you use, insert it slowly and carefully and use it in a way that is most comfortable for you.

Using your fingers and a butt plug will only stretch out the anal muscles so much, which is why sex toys are recommended before participating in the anal sex act.

Some sex toys are in between fingering and inserting the penis when it comes to helping stretch out those muscles and if you prepare the anus by using these steps in this order, everything you do afterwards is going to be much more comfortable for you.

Lubrication for Anal Sex

The need for lubes during anal sex play cannot be overstated enough. In fact, lube is so important during anal sex that you may have to reapply it a few times while you’re having sex.

As mentioned earlier, the anus does not self-lubricate as the vagina does so it needs plenty of lube while having anal sex, even if you’re an old pro at this type of sexual activity.

There are two main types of lubricants: water-based and silicone-based. Water-based lubes are easier to clean because they wash off easily with water. However, water-based lubes are also absorbed very easily so you will likely have to reapply them more than once during the sex act.

Silicone-based lubes are thicker and have a gel-like consistency but they are also messier and a little more challenging to clean away.

Of course, if you’re using toys, it is important to check with the manufacturer to learn which type of lube they recommend. If you’re concerned about the mess that silicone-based lubes make, you can simply place a clean towel on the bed before you start to have sex.

Both of these lubricants are very effective at keeping the anus lubricated during the sex act so you’ll just have to decide for yourself which one to use and which one you feel works best for you.

Getting Aroused for Anal

Just the same as vaginal sex, both partners have to be in the mood for anal sex and this is especially true for females. If you’re going to have anal sex, it is a good idea to prepare for it just as you would any other type of sex.

What does this mean? You can start with a little romantic music, some wine, and maybe even a bubble bath that you can take together.

Even though the anus doesn’t get lubricated when you’re aroused, the fact that other parts of your body will become lubricated can help you mentally prepare for having anal sex.

Once again, anal sex should never be rushed into because when you take your time, there is simply more time to be fully prepared both physically and psychologically for what you’re about to do. Set the proper mood with the right music and atmosphere and your anal sex escapades will be successful.

This is yet another great reason to start off with some finger massage and sex toy play when you’re interested in anal sex because preparing your anal area by inserting small objects goes a long way to preparing your body for the act itself.

Using toys can be a real turn-on as well and whatever you have to do for the two of you to get aroused and excited will be well worth it once you get started.

What Should You Do After Anal Sex?

Just as with preparing for anal sex, there are some things that you can do afterwards to feel better physically and emotionally. If you’re new to anal sex, you may be experiencing some minor pain and discomfort.

One of the best ways to alleviate that pain is to take a warm bath in Epsom salts. Before you get in the tub, you should wipe yourself with gentle baby wipes so that most of the area can be clean before you start to soak.

It is also important to properly dispose of any condoms, throw all towels into the washing machine, and clean up the bed because it is likely going to be quite dirty at this point.

Wash your sex toys with warm soap and water or a cleanser made specifically for sex toys and make sure that you clean your butt area so that you are comfortable and feel clean.

Anal sex can also allow partners to feel closer to one another so one of the best things that you can do right after participating in this act is to spend time being close to one another physically.

Go ahead and snuggle, giggle, and talk about how much you enjoyed the sex or discuss ways that it can be better next time. Just as with other types of sex, communication is vital if you want anal sex to be a success so the more you talk after each time you have anal sex, the better.

Cleaning up after yourselves is important for hygiene reasons and for safety; snuggling and having a good conversation are important for many other reasons.

Again, anal sex is both a physical and psychological act so you have to be prepared to enjoy both of these aspects if you want to make the most of this type of sexual activity.

Kegels After Anal: Keeping Your Butt Tight

Kegels are generally used to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles so that women can have less incontinence and more enjoyable orgasms but they do much more than that.

Kegels are also a great way to strengthen the anal muscles so that anal sex is much more enjoyable. Kegels are practically effortless, but they work miracles when it comes to strengthening muscles and enabling you to have more enjoyable sex.

Kegels can be performed almost anywhere and you can get started by getting into a comfortable position and relaxing. You simply squeeze your muscles as you would if you were stopping the flow of urine in mid-flow.

You should tighten the buttock muscles at the same time. Practice this squeeze-and-release motion by holding the squeeze for roughly ten seconds, then releasing for ten seconds. Start out with one set of ten and build up from there.

How many sets of Kegels should you perform? That’s up to you but most people find that building up to ten sets of ten works best and produces the best effect.

In addition, although many people believe that only women should do Kegels, the truth is that if you’re a gay man interested in anal sex, doing Kegels can increase your enjoyment in the bedroom as well.

Anal sex is not something to be rushed into because a lot of physical and mental preparation beforehand is a must in order for it to be successful.

Fortunately, most of the tips and suggestions for making anal sex a success are easy to follow and they are all worth it in the end because your time participating in this activity will be most enjoyable.

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