Rimming consists of various sexual activities the center around the anus but unlike what many people assume, it is not just an activity for gay men to enjoy.
Indeed, although it is often associated with anal sex, the truth is that men and women of all sexual orientations have learned to enjoy it.
What Is a Rim Job (Analingus)?
Rimming, or analingus, involves kissing, licking, or penetrating your partner’s anus with a sex toy, your tongue, or anything else for that matter. As with other types of sexual activity, it works better when the two people involved have a bond of trust and communication between them.
It also should start the same way that a lot of sexual activity starts -- with a good, old-fashioned cleansing. You can take a shower or bath if you like and some people even use an anal douche but it’s important that this area be clean before you start.
Another aspect to remember is that hair can grow around your bum just as it does the genital area and this applies to both men and women. This means that the person receiving the rim job should do the other person a favor and trim up the hair around that area of the body before the activity begins.
Above all else, it simply makes it easier for the person doing the rimming to get into the anus without suffering the hair-between-the teeth scenario.
Because STIs can still result from any type of rimming activity (more about that later), this is something that you’ll want to keep in mind when participating in this type of activity.
If you have any concerns, you can always use an item called a dental dam, which is sort of similar to a condom and is made for this type of activity. The receiver still feels the same sensations as before but both the receiver and the giver are protected.
Another advantage of a dental dam is that they are available in many different flavors so it can be fun and tasty when you’re rimming and using one of these devices.
You can still get deep within the anus if you want even though the dam is between the two partners but it is a much safer way to enjoy rimming.
On the same note, don’t forget about flavored lubes as well. You can drizzle the lube all over your partner’s bum and take your time getting to the fun part by licking and tasting the lube as your tongue glides along and enjoys the ride.
After all, just as with many other sexual activities, this type of sex is best when you take your time and enjoy the journey.
Rimming is a very popular activity for both men and women, either straight, gay, or other, and it is a simple yet very enjoyable sexual activity that is likely to continue increasing in popularity.
Why Do People Like Rimming?
People have many reasons for enjoying rimming activity. Let’s face it; rimming can be on the taboo side of sexual activities and that alone makes many people want to try it.
When something is a little different and risqué, many people are naturally drawn to it, which is one of the reasons why so many people find rimming appealing.
If you’re attracted to someone’s butt, you may naturally want to play with it and stimulate it during sex and rimming provides you with the perfect opportunity to do so. In addition, rimming is a very intimate and close-up activity, which can be stimulating for both the giver and the receiver.
After all, what is more intimate than sticking your tongue or a sex toy into someone’s anus?
There is also another upside to rimming and that is to prepare the anus for anal sex. The anus doesn’t have much lubrication on its own so it needs a little wetness and moisture added before anything can be introduced into it.
This is where a good rim job comes in. With just little rimming activity, which is fun in and of itself, your partner’s bum is all ready for a little anal action with a toy or a penis.
Many people also claim that they adore the unique scent that a freshly cleaned bum offers. Some gay men have claimed that it reminds them of a musky gay bar and to many people this is a huge turn-on.
To add to all of this, some people love the feeling of vulnerability, claiming that it makes them as the givers get more excited because the receiver is at his or her most vulnerable when receiving a rim job.
What it all boils down to is this: to each his or her own. Not everybody is going to love rimming, regardless of which side he or she is on, so even if you try it once and don’t care for it, that’s all right.
As long as the act is consensual, there is nothing wrong with trying a little rimming even if it ends up being the last time that you do it.
How to Give a Rim Job
Much as with other sex acts, rimming has no hard-and-fast rules because it essentially involves only one thing: stimulating the anus with your tongue, fingers, or a sex toy.
Unlike what many people believe, the anus has a lot of nerve endings in it so it can be quite pleasurable to be stimulated in that part of your body. You can even experiment if you like while your tongue explores that area of your partner’s body.
If you’d like to give rimming a try, here is a simple way to get started:
- Most people find that doggie style is the best position for rimming.
- If there is excess hair, simply part it gently and move it away from the anus if possible.
- Begin slowly by kissing and licking the slope of the butt crack.
- Use a flat tongue, and lick just as if you’re licking ice cream.
- Take your flat tongue and run it over the opening.
- Tease the crack a little bit before inserting your tongue.
- Once your lips are moist enough, kiss the area around the anus.
- Take your tongue and swirl it around the rim.
Once you find your own rhythm and share that rhythm with your partner, rimming becomes a lot more fun. Some people can reach orgasm just through rimming alone while others cannot.
As with any other sex act, it is important to communicate with your partner so that you know what each of you likes and dislikes. Open communication is the key to successful rimming.
Best Positions for Rimming
While the doggie-style position is popular for couples who enjoy rimming, there are other positions that work as well. The doggie-style position, or back-door position, is easy because the receiver gets down on all fours and then places his/her buttocks a little higher than the rest of the body.
The giver gets behind and has perfect access to the anus, making rimming easy. The receiver also remains comfortable in this position throughout the sex act.
You can also stand up and receive a rim job, especially if you place your hands against the wall for support while standing and spread your legs slightly, allowing your partner to get close enough to the anus to do whatever the two of you feel like doing.
The giver can also crouch or sit on a chair if that is more comfortable because in all honesty, neither of you knows how long the rimming session will last!
If you choose to stand up while rimming, you can still assume different positions in order to make it a little kinkier. Try placing one leg on the floor and the other leg on a table or chair, then let your partner stoop below you and rim from that position.
You can think of many more “standing up” rimming positions with little effort on your part so don’t be afraid to get a little creative.
Yet another position that is perfect for rimming is the yoga position. In this position, you simply assume a shoulder-stand position, which means that you lie on the bed with your legs and torso in the air while your neck and shoulders support your weight.
The giver can kneel or sit, depending on what’s most comfortable, and has the perfect view of your buttocks.
In addition to doggie style, standing, and the yoga position, you can also use a 69-like position but instead of going for the genital area, the giver heads toward the anal area instead.
A lot of couples like this position because they can go from anal play to oral sex in a matter of seconds, allowing them to enjoy more sex acts in a shorter period of time.
Finally, there is the bending-over position where the receiver bends at the waist and leans forward on a cabinet or table. The giver can get in a variety of positions while the receiver is bent over and it is a position that is easily accommodated by both of them.
This is also a very simple position that is comfortable for both partners and if you do it in the kitchen, you can even use some whipped cream or chocolate syrup and lick that off your partner’s bum before starting the rimming.
Advanced Rim Job Techniques
Both straight and gay couples enjoy rimming, in part because it is one of the last taboos and partly because it just plain feels good.
Much as with other forms of sex, rimming can be a little more fun if you add a little more kink to it and the following suggestions go a long way in helping you do just that:
- Use your teeth. Don’t chomp down hard, of course, but use a little nibbling action while you’re rimming for a little extra sensation.
- Feel free to use sex toys. A butt plug, a dildo, and even a strap-on can be inserted into the anus for a little extra fun and kinkiness.
- While you’re rimming your partner, gently fondle the genitals with your hands for some extra stimulation.
- Try a few new positions before the rimming starts: sit on your partner’s face, get in an upside-down position and spread your legs in a V or lie on your back and place your legs on the bedposts.
Remember that there are no rules when it comes to rimming. If it feels good to both of you and you’re both agreeable to it, then it’s the right thing for you. You can also do whatever you like with your tongue.
Some receivers prefer a firm tongue while others prefer a light lick instead.
You can even insert the tongue partially into the anus in a teasing manner just to get your partner a little more excited. When it comes to techniques, the sky is the limit!
Asking Your Partner to Try Rimming
Once again, communication is the key to this sex act just as it is with all the others. If this is your first time to rim, you’ll want to talk it over with your partner so that both of you are all right with what is about to happen.
Talk about what you will and will not allow and agree to only do the things that both of you feel are acceptable. There is no shame in saying “no” to any part of the rimming process so it is important to be honest with one another.
If you’re hesitant about approaching your partner with this topic because you’re afraid that the answer will be “no,” there are things that you can do to make it more likely that he or she will say “yes.” These include:
- Practicing good hygiene on a regular basis
- Making sure that your bum is both clean and neatly groomed
- Promising to use protection, such as a dental dam or condom
- Talking about any worries or fears that either one of you has about rimming
- Starting out very slowly so that your partner is able to get used to the act a little at a time
You should also keep in mind that everybody has his or her own likes and dislikes as well as his or her own limits.
This means that you should respect your partner’s opinions regarding rimming even if you’ve already started the act but your partner still seems hesitant about it. Learn to recognize your partner’s visual cues so that if something unexpected happens, the two of you can stop until it is resolved.
Is Rimming Safe?
Most couples talk about using condoms or dental dams when they first start discussing the practice of rimming, which is smart for numerous reasons.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can result from rimming so if there is any concern that this may apply to you or your partner, it is a smart idea to use some protection each time that you rim.
Without protection, it is possible to transmit certain diseases during rimming, including anal warts, herpes, Hepatitis A, and possibly even HIV.
If you have had the Hepatitis A shot, you won’t need to worry about that one but it is still possible to transmit those other diseases.
You also have to keep in mind that when you floss or brush your teeth, you sometimes get tiny cuts in your mouth and this can put you at a greater risk of transmitting certain diseases.
The obvious answer, of course, is to use protection in the form of either a condom or a dental dam. If one of you is allergic to latex, however, you’ll have to forego that option in favor of using non-microwaveable plastic wrap or condoms that aren’t made out of latex.
Other options include finger cots or other devices that cover your fingers but leave your hands free to move as you like. There are a lot of options when it comes to protection and it is always wise to use one of them.
Can You Get STIs From Rimming?
Nearly every STI can be transmitted when you’re practicing rimming so it is a good idea to use protection unless you’ve been together a while and you’re familiar with each other’s histories. These diseases include chlamydia, syphilis, HPV, gonorrhea, herpes, and HIV, among others.
This doesn’t necessarily happen because the anus is infected. It happens because the organisms that cause these STIs can live in the vaginal and anal areas and can infect someone quickly.
In other words, anal rimming is no different than anal sex, oral sex, and vaginal sex in that it can cause a host of both sexually transmitted and many other diseases, including both Hepatitis A and B.
Syphilis, for example, is caused by bacteria that live in active lesions or sores and it can be transmitted any time that there is skin-to-skin contact, such as when you are rimming.
You can also get gonorrhea of the throat and a syphilis sore almost anywhere on your face so it is easy to understand why using some sort of protection is your smartest choice when practicing rimming.
You should especially be concerned if you or your partner have any cuts or abrasions on your lips, gums, tongue, or rectum because this can make it even easier to transmit various diseases.
These cuts make excellent entry points for infection so if you notice any of these things, it is best to use protection during the act of rimming.
Anal Hygiene When Rimming
Naturally, there are some cleaning techniques that you should practice if you’re interested in rimming.
Because of its day job, the anus can be filled with bacteria; however, as long as you practice the right hygiene, both you and your partner can be ready for anal rimming sooner rather than later. Here are a few techniques to get your bum all ready for this type of play:
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Within 30-60 minutes of the sex act, go into the bathroom and empty your bowels, then wipe the anal area with soap and warm water.
For most people, this type of cleaning is enough but if you feel better using an enema as well, go ahead and do so. Enemas should be given a minimum of one hour before any type of anal play.
- You can also, after cleaning your bum with soap and water, wipe it off with baby wipes that are hypoallergenic, unscented, and alcohol-free.
- For extra protection, place a clean towel on the bed before you participate in the rimming to keep everything as clean as possible.
- If you intend to go from anal to vaginal play, make sure that you clean up again after the anal play and before the vaginal play. If you use a condom for the anal play, use a new one for vaginal.
It is easy to get cleaned up properly before rimming and it is a very important step in making the most out of the sex act.
Accessories/Toys to Use When Rimming
One of the best parts of participating in rimming is that you can use a lot of different toys in the act so using your tongue or your finger isn’t your only option.
Regardless of your preferences and the preferences of your partner, you can get very creative when it comes to sex toys and rimming. These can include the following:
- Butt plugs, including the vibrating type and the inflatable type
- Rimming plugs, which are specially made for rimming and contain a ring of rotating beads that make it feel the same as a real rim job
- A vibrator or stroker, especially the types that move
- Bullets, which are a type of hand-held vibrator
- Anal beads; after all, why not use them when rimming?
In fact, you can get quite creative when it comes to sex toys and rimming so even if you or your partner have some rather unusual or quirky desires, you should be able to accommodate them every time.
When it comes to sex toys, lubes, and condoms or dental dams, there are so many types available that enjoying your rimming activity to the fullest is never a problem.
As long as you communicate with your partner and learn to relax, this is one activity that you’re likely to stick with for a lifetime.